Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
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