Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
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