Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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