Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Ambien. No doubt about it.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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