I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
