Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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