first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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