i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
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