Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize