Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
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I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
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No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
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