I wanna passion pit in your ass
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
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I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
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you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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