I accidentally burped into my bong.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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