She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
