I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
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