dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
