chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
