this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
