after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
