I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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