in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
She's the barista slut.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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