2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
