Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
