That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
