i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
