This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Randomize
