She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
