i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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