party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
