I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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