Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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