I bet he comes in French.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Randomize
