He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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