Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is this the sara with the beer cane?
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
My vagina is officially offended.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
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