if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize