my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
