I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Randomize
