i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Randomize
