capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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