Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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