He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
