I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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