During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
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I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
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He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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