he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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