All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
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