I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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