No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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