he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
a search helicopter?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize