I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
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