Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
