I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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