I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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