I wannas sexs uuuuu
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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