you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
high people should be assigned attendants
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
