She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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