The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
