Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
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